free fall

sometimes we need to fall hard, really hard, for us to learn.

if someone promises us to be their chute, do not expect much because any moment on your descent, they can pull it off and leave you on free fall.

it will be a free fall where more uncertainties abound, blurry tomorrow, and can even cause your heart to crush six feet below the ground.

i wish i decided better earlier. i wish i took the advice of my mind over what my heart’s desire.

and i still wish you to find your happy ending.


wishing a happy ever after

when i hit my bed this afternoon, i already felt the void that envelopes that other empty side which couldn’t be filled in except you.

as i caressed my pillows under my head, tears fell incesantly. i can hardly compose myself at that very moment. breathing was a chore that i can feel my heart wants to be with you.

this love i have for you is getting intense every passing moment. and when we aren’t together, i am for longing you every second.

i don’t know if the world conspires against us but i am willing to dive, to take a free fall towards you without thinking what’s waiting for me.

please be patient when there are times that i cannot hold of my emotions, if i say that that i miss you, i do. i really do.

right now, all i want is your dearest hugs and kisses. never have i felt before how secured i am when i’m with you.

you are my dearest and i wish us a happy ever after.

i don’t kiss on first dates

i don’t kiss on first dates and i live to that self-imposed rule.

before you raise your eyebrows, i want to say that i am happily attached with the significant other. i just want to share you an incident that transpired a couple of years ago when i was in a business trip somewhere far.

on that gloomy morning aboard a bus on my way to the office, i was focused on my phone sending blabbers on twitter. nodding on the beat of coldplay, this guy incessantly staring at me which i was unaware of. i refused to accept his presence but my face betrayed me.

he smiled and damn that fucking smile opened heaven on earth. blue and chinky eyed six footer, nice bicelps but not that typical big built european, my waterloo.

apparently, he came near me and discreetly asked for my number. creepy but i felt kinikilig like a high school girl with a pigtail. pota! hahaha!

i went off the bus when he gave me a ring, good lord i already have my at&t number.

“nice to meet you. would it be ok for you to have dinner downtown tonight?”

my knees shook.

“sure. i’ll be off from work at six.”

“see you.”

it was a great dinner. i learned that he’s also an expat from geneva. his strong european accent made him cuter.

we also went to see a movie and damn it, he held my hand during the movie. it sent shivers down my spine. i never felt this for a long time, only now.

when the movie was over. he drove me to my hotel. automatic transmission is a clever invention because he was able to hold my hand the entire trip.

when we’re already at the gate, he wanted to kiss me. but i didn’t, i said i don’t kiss on first dates.

maybe on our next date, i will. but it will only be a kiss. i am not yet ready to fall.

missing at 37000ft

image from here:

image from here:

i can only see a pitch dark horizon from my window seat as we are travelling the frigid alaskan continent cruising at 37000 feet.

when i hopped inside the plane that morning, i have this feeling that i left something important. yes, i don’t know if it’s my heart or just a flavor of the month thing.

my last few days in the philippines were the best days i’ve ever had. i felt something quivered inside. but the catch is, he doesn’t know, a bit suplado during that night and he doesn’t even want to kiss me.

but feelings can’t be betrayed, my heart somewhat misses that someone. perhaps in the future, we will meet again and it might be another one night stand.

informative entertainment

i was never a fan of show business even when i was still based in manila. i can say that every time i turn on my television, the first thing that i check is BBC, CNN and National Geographic channels. and yes, i can live with these 3 channels alone.

but to each his own, i respect those who are so much into celebrities. but sorry to say, i can’t bear with them a lot.

i once had a housemate who was addicted to pinoy big brother. since our cable operator has a free 24/7 telecast of the said reality show, once she opens the television, it’s automatically tuned to that channel. i just can’t withstand it so i just stay in my bedroom and read.

some would make a VERY big deal of following celebrities. what the heck, they are just merely people with a devastated life – people who turned into a public figure for consumption and a good prey of malicious gossips.

maybe i was brought up in a family where news and informative entertainments were a staple item inside our home. mom starts her day with our radio tuned into a local AM station before unang hirit and alas singko y media tv programs started airing in the early 2000. at night, my dad would watch the evening news program and once done, he tunes into the natgeo channel.

when i started working, i got more inclined with these programs. lately, i had this routine right after i leave my bed. watch rico hizon on bbc world news then turn to natgeo for air crash investigation then go back to cnn. i am not telling that i am intellectual sort of guy, i just to want to have more information on current events.

sabi nga ng gma news tv, iba na ang may alam.

no more turning back

great things come to those who wait. and some of them would be right outside knocking your front door and waiting you to open them.

in this industry that i am playing with for almost half a decade, expect a lot of changes from time to time.  what you’re taking today may be a different path tomorrow. you might walk through a desolate or a straight road, you might encounter crossroads which you need to decide and take your best foot forward.

as i said in my previous post – opportunity cost, it has finally come to a decision to choose one. i’ll be leaving my comfort zones and pursue the high seas.

it will be a new environment, a bigger role and a new step in the corporate ladder.

i hope i chose the right thing because there is no more turning back. i am excited and anxious at the same time. but the heck, i love challenges!

bucket list

bucket list

image from here

2 years ago, i made my last new year’s resolution. i don’t give a damn making another one this year because for sure, i will just forget them eventually. instead, i made my bucket list. it’s more clever and exciting than actually.

here are my 10 items in my bucket:

1. spend my birthday in boracay!

2. spend winter in seoul.

3. experience summer somewhere in europe.

4. send mom a bouquet of flowers on her birthday.

5. spend a laid-back weekend in palawan.

6. buy myself a new watch. i’m still wearing my now cranky wrist watch my mom gave me since college.

7. go to baguio with wifey on valentines day.

8. send a kid to school but stay incognito.

9. spend lesser time at work and more time with personal things.

10. give my family a grand vacation.

it seems that some of the items are too much expensive but who knows, right? it’s time to save more moolah this year!